Social skills for autonomous people
Social skills: noticing when repetition is communication

So there’s this dynamic:

Autistic person: The door is open!

Other person: I *know* that. It’s hot in here.

Autistic person: The door is open!

Other person: I already explained to you that it’s hot in here!

Autistic person: The door is open!

Other person: Why do you have to repeat things all the time?!

Often when this happens, what’s really going on is that the autistic person is trying to communicate something, and they’re not being understood. The other person things that they are understanding and responding, and that the autistic person is just repeating the same thing over and over either for no reason or because they are being stubborn and inflexible and obnoxious and pushy.

When what’s really happening is that the autistic person is not being understood, and they are communicating using the words they have. There’s a NT social expectation that if people aren’t being understood, they should change their words and explain things differently. Sometimes autistic people aren’t capable of doing this without help.

So, if this is happening, assume it’s communication and try to figure out what’s being communicated. If you’re the one with more words, and you want the communication to happen in words, then you have to provide words that make communication possible. For example:

Other person: Do you want the door to be closed, or are you saying something else?

Autistic person: Something else

Other person: Do you want to show me something outside, or something else?

Autistic person: Something else

Other person: Are you worried about something that might happen, or something else?

Autistic person: Worried

Other person: Are you worried that something will come in, or that something will go out?

Autistic person: Baby

Other person: She’s in her crib, and the baby gate is up. Is that ok, or is there still a problem?

Autistic person: ok

  1. ej2h reblogged this from lucylivesherlife
  2. letsmoveourbootybutts reblogged this from deer-kin
  3. teabooksandchocolate reblogged this from valarmorghulhiss
  4. morphozephyritis reblogged this from brightstartheory
  5. ryanlovelessbooks reblogged this from kimboosan
  6. whamzee reblogged this from realsocialskills
  7. kimboosan reblogged this from suddenlycomics
  8. amemait reblogged this from kimboosan
  9. totiffanysandbeyond reblogged this from feministcaptainkirk
  10. thatonecrazygingerinthecorner reblogged this from feministcaptainkirk
  11. kyrsteniopsis reblogged this from feministcaptainkirk
  12. justsogeek reblogged this from thepageofhopes
  13. peppermintsquirrel reblogged this from cersei-the-truth-bombardier
  14. cersei-the-truth-bombardier reblogged this from feministcaptainkirk
  15. adderssmile reblogged this from undoubtedlysherlocked
  16. annieandthegodfather reblogged this from bisexualusagi
  17. justdreamingalone reblogged this from zeesmuse
  18. theburdenofthedream reblogged this from queenfattyoftherollpalace
  19. sexytimemaddness reblogged this from peachieperson
  20. jmrichards reblogged this from zeesmuse and added:
    The writing thing—that is important too, thanks for mentioning it. I have an autistic student who would stop talking...
  21. zeesmuse reblogged this from jmrichards and added:
    My son has Asperger’s and at times he has a very difficult time trying to get his true meaning across. When he was...
  22. karebear072290 reblogged this from jmrichards
  23. socialjusticebloggerr reblogged this from thephotogfeminist
  24. pychosquirrel reblogged this from feministcaptainkirk
  25. undoubtedlysherlocked reblogged this from cliffysbiro
  26. that-nerd-chick reblogged this from lucylivesherlife