If someone tells you something about how they’re treated for being perceived as x, do *not* respond by saying “but you’re not x!”.
Because that suggests that if they really *were* x, then they *would* deserve it.
“People are always making fun of me for being short, and I can never find adult clothes that fit me.”
“But you’re not short!”
“People don’t listen to me because they can’t be bothered to take the ten extra seconds to let me talk when it’s hard for me”.
“But you sound normal to me!”
Saying things like this really, really does not help. You saying you don’t perceive that person as x doesn’t make their experiences with being (or being perceived as) x any easier to deal with. It just means that they can’t talk to you about them.