So, here’s a thing that happens a lot:
- Someone rides a wheelchair or mobility scooter into a room that has many chairs in it
- They want to sit on one of those chairs.
- Several people, trying to be helpful, dart in to remove the very chair they wanted to sit on
This is very annoying.
- Especially when it happens several times a week
- Especially when the people who dart in to remove the chairs are very proud of themselves for Helping The Disabled
- Even more so if they don’t understand “actually, I want to sit in that chair”, and keep removing it anyway
- Even more so if the person has to physically grab the chair they want to sit on to prevent it from being removed
- (And sometimes people react badly to being corrected and become aggressive or condescending)
Do not do this annoying thing.
- Instead, find out what the person you want to be helpful to actually wants
- People who use mobility equipment are not actually glued to it
- And different people have different preferences about where they want to sit
- You can’t know without asking them
- (You can’t read their mind, Some people seem to think that mobility equipment transmits a telepathic call for help regardless of the person’s actual apparent interest in help. Those people are wrong. You have to actually ask)
- You can’t know where someone wants to sit unless you ask, so ask
- One way you can ask is “Would you like me to move anything?”
If you forget to ask, and make the wrong assumption:
- Recognize that you have been rude
- And apologize, and say “Oh, excuse me” or “Sorry. I’ll put it back.”
- This is the same kind of rude as, say, accidentally cutting in line
- Or being careless and bumping into someone
- This is not a big-deal apology, it’s basically just acknowledging that you made a rude mistake
- People make and acknowledge rude mistakes all the time with nondisabled folks
- The same people who say “excuse me” when they bump into a nondisabled person, are often completely silent when they do something rude related to someone’s disability
- Being on the receiving end of a lot of unacknowledged rudeness is degrading and draining. Particularly when you see that the same people who are rude to you without apologizing say “sorry” and “excuse me” to people without disabilities they interact with
- Do not be part of this problem
- When you are inadvertently rude to someone who has a disability, it’s important to acknowledge and apologize for it in the same way you would for any other inadvertent interpersonal rudeness