hollywoodontap asked:
I have trouble answering questions if the asker has not given me specific details. I feel like I can’t give them what they want unless I’m told precisely what it is they’re looking for. I tend to ask questions in return before getting to an answer.
realsocialskills said:
It’s ok to need details. If asking clarifying questions is working for you, I’d keep doing that. The important thing is to communicate effectively.
Some thoughts on ways to make clarifying questions work:
There are a couple ways to ask in a general way that work for some people:
- “I need more words”.
- “I’m confused; can you rephrase?“
- “That’s kind of abstract – can you be more specific?”
It can sometimes help to be more specific yourself, and offer options. Someone asking a question they think is easily understood might not know how to clarify.
Eg:
- Jane: What do you think of the foo?
- You: In what sense? Are you asking if I like it personally, or if I think it’s marketable? Or something else?
or:
- Joel: What’s Applied Foo 101 like? Should I take it?
- You: Are you asking about how hard it is, or how interesting it is, or something else?
Another possibility: Guess and then ask if you got it right:
eg:
- Yosef: Did the thing happen?
- You: The football game?
or:
- Erica: Where are the things?
- You: The supplies?
Sometimes it is better to make your best guess, then answer the question you think they’re asking:
Eg:
- Susan: How about that foo?
- You: Do you mean the sales statistics? If so, they’re way up this week.
or:
- Thomas: Did you do the thing?
- You: Do you mean my entry in the bad poetry contest. If so, I submitted that today. I’m excited for my chances this year. It was a truly terrible poem.
Short version: It’s ok to need to ask clarifying questions when someone asks you something, even if you need more details than most people need. The important thing is to communicate clearly.