Cussing is important. Here are some uses:
- Expressing boundaries in forceful language
- Expressing emphatic contempt
- Expressing distress
Sometimes it’s ok to insult people. Sometimes it’s important to be rude.
Slurs aren’t part of this, though. It’s not ok to insult someone by comparing them to an oppressed group. It’s not ok to insult someone by referencing their membership in an oppressed group.
Lists of things to say rather than “that’s so gay” or “that’s so r-word” tend to be long lists of big words that are clean and polite. They shouldn’t be, though. There’s no moral obligation to use long words. There’s no moral obligation to always use clean language.
The problem with slurs is that they help to keep marginalized groups marginalized. They hurt innocent people, and they hurt guilty people in ways no one deserves.
So, when the situation calls for cussing at or about someone, use swear words. Don’t use slurs.