accomodations – Real Social Skills

Recognizing uniqueness is not a substitute for thinking about disability

January 27, 2017June 9, 2021 Real Social Skills

Teachers who are really good at teaching typically developing kids sometimes have trouble understanding the significance of disability. I’ve heard a lot of things like “all kids are unique” and “I always individualize my approach for every kid” and “I don’t see the need to label any kids as disabled, it’s just a matter of finding what works for them”.

This sounds positive, but it can be a disaster for kids with disabilities.

We talk a lot about uniqueness, but a lot of effective teaching depends on understanding ways in which kids are similar to each other. Developmentally appropriate practice means understanding how kids the same age are similar to each other — then being flexible in ways that recognize kids’ unique humanity. We develop a sense of what the range of difference is for kids of a particular age.

Kids with disabilities are more different than that, and we need to take those differences seriously. Disability matters, and practices based on typical developmental milestones don’t account for it.

For instance:

Developmental milestones tell us:

Two year olds don’t have the motor skills to support handwriting.
Early education helps two year olds develop the motor skills that will eventually support handwriting.
Ten year olds do have the motor skills to support handwriting.
If they’ve had appropriate education, ten year olds should be able to write.

Developmental milestones don’t tell us:

How to teach ten year olds who don’t have the fine motor skills to support handwriting.
What early literacy and pre-writing instruction looks like for young children who are unlikely to develop the motor skills needed to support handwriting

It’s also important to understand the difference between unusual and unique. Disability means having unusual differences. But not every difference is unique. Some differences are shared by other people with disabilities. Those shared differences are important.

We need to understand the disability-related similarities. Part of that is having the right words to describe them. Calling disabilities by their right names isn’t about labeling, it’s about breaking isolation and making important things speakable.

For instance:

Braille:

Braille exists because blind people need it to exist
The differences between sighted people and blind people are a reason that braille needs to exist.
(And a reason that Braille is better than raised print).
The similarities between many blind people are a reason that braille *can* exist as a standard way of accessing literacy.
If each blind person was completely unique, there would be no way to create a reading and writing system that would work for large numbers of blind people.

Some other examples:

Wheelchairs.
Ramps.
Large print.
Cars with hand controls and/or wheelchair lifts.
Text-to-speech communication devices.
VoiceOver and other screen reading software.
Signed languages.
Medications that manage symptoms.
Supportive seating.
The ADA, Section 504, IDEA and other disability rights laws.

People with disabilities are unique, and not interchangeable with each other. Similarly, kids the same age are unique, and not interchangeable with each other. Both the similarities and differences are important.

Short version: Sometimes progressive educators are uncomfortable with the concept of disability, and want to instead just see every kid’s uniqueness. That doesn’t work, because disability means having unusual differences — and because the differences aren’t unique; they’re shared with many other disabled people. Recognizing uniqueness isn’t enough — we also need to understand and accommodate disability.

Negotiating accommodations without a diagnosis

November 11, 2014June 21, 2021 Real Social Skills

A reader asked:

How do you ask for accomendations when you don’t have a go-to reason to explain why you need it? I don’t know if I’m disabled (I find info about disablities completely inaccessible to me, though i’ve wondered from seeing people talk about things i’ve also experienced) but I do know I can’t learn in certain ways, or process information that’s presented in certain ways, and that I’m prone to sensory overload. people act like i’m being overdemanding when I bring it up. am i? if not, what do I do?

realsocialskills said:

I’ve been there, a lot. I was only diagnosed after college, even though I’ve always been disabled. I was just as impaired before diagnosis; being without a label didn’t magically create abilities. So I’ve spent a lot of time negotiating accommodations informally.

I’ve found that what works best is to give a very simple version of the problem, and to ask for something specific. This can make accommodating you seem like a straightforward thing to do.

For instance: “This is hard for me to read. Is there an electronic copy?” works much better than “I’m autistic and I have visual tracking issues and executive dysfunction and I need a different format.“

Or: “Noisy College Hall is big and crowded. I never understand anything there. Can we have class in the usual room instead of moving?”

Or: “I don’t understand the assignment when it’s said verbally. Can you email me the details?”

Short version: You don’t have to go into great diagnostic detail when you’re negotiating with a teacher directly. You can start by describing the problem and a solution you think would work. This doesn’t always work, but it’s the most effective approach I know of for this situation.

Why I say that all autistic people are disabled

April 23, 2014June 21, 2021 Real Social Skills

A reader asked:

I get where you’re coming from saying all autistic people are disabled, but I’m autistic and don’t consider myself disabled, because I move through the world with no external accommodations. I feel uncomfortable claiming the word disabled and I feel more uncomfortable when people apply it to me without my consent.

realsocialskills said:

Here’s what I mean by saying all autistic people are disabled:

Autistic people, *all* autistic people, have things that they can’t do that almost all neurotypical people can do.

That’s a significant fact. And it doesn’t go away because you’ve arranged your life in a way that works for you. And losing site of that can cause a lot of problems.

To use a personal example:

I have a terrible sense of direction. I absolutely need my iPhone to be able to go anywhere new by myself without allowing an extra hour to get lost. That’s true no matter how simple the route is.

I have, at many points, forgotten that I am disabled in this particular way. In my day-to-day life, I normally stay within a small range of a few very familiar city blocks. So I don’t experience my disability, I don’t notice I am disabled. I even, sometimes, forget that I am impaired in that way. I used to get myself into a lot of trouble assuming that I’d gotten over it.

Similar things happen with executive functioning. I need a lot of cognitive cues to be in place to be able to do things. If they’re there, then I can forget that I have problems doing stuff. Which can cause serious problems if what I need to do shifts and my existing cues don’t work anymore.

Understanding that I haven’t gotten over disability and I’m not going to get over it helps me to function better. Because whether I notice my disability or not, it’s always there. When I remember and acknowledge that I am disabled it, I can plan to accommodate my disability.

I think this is true of all autistic people, whether or not they identify as disabled.

Don’t assume you know the reasons someone needs accomodations

April 30, 2013June 20, 2021 Real Social Skills

So, here’s a thing that happens:

Person with a disability: I need accommodation x.
Person with power: Oh, you have condition y! No problem!
Person with a disability actually has condition z, which needs some of the same accommodations as y, but also different ones.
But they’re afraid to correct the person with power, lest they think that the actual reason isn’t a good one, and stop being willing to do the necessary accommodation.
And they’re also afraid to ask for some of the other accommodations they need for the condition they actually have, because then they’d have to change the conversation.

For instance:

Student with an audio processing disorder: I need to sit in the front in order to understand what’s going on in class.
Teacher: Oh, because you can’t see the board otherwise! Sure, I’ll make a note of it on the seating chart and be sure not to assign you anywhere you can’t see the board.
The student is afraid to correct the teacher, because they might not think audio processing problems are a real thing. Or the teacher might feel like the student lied to them, even though the student never said anything about vision.
On a field trip, the teacher doesn’t realize that the student needs to be near the tour guide. The exhibits are large, and students gather around them and can see them equally well from any point, so the teacher doesn’t realize there is a problem.
And the student is afraid to say that there is a problem, because the teacher hasn’t shown that it is safe to do so, and has given some indication that it isn’t.

So, do not be that guy. Don’t tell people what their disability is, or what their needs are. Doing so makes it harder for people to tell you what accommodations they actually need in order to be able to participate.

Instead, ask. Don’t ask invasive personal questions, just ask what people need.

More on restricted diets

January 8, 2013June 20, 2021 Real Social Skills

Do not take food issues personally.

If someone can’t eat something, it’s not personal:

It isn’t a rejection of your hospitality
It isn’t an insult to your cooking skills
It isn’t a comment on your health, your lifestyle, or your diet

It’s also not any of your business:

Don’t expect an intimate conversation about the reasons behind the food restriction
Don’t make a big deal about it
Do not comment about weight loss
Do not offer unsolicited medical advice
Do not offer unsolicited health advice
Or unsolicited religious commentary
Or your views on vegetarianism

And especially, don’t do dangerous things:

Don’t try to trick people into eating things
Even if you think their food issue is a ridiculous phobia and that tricking them would cure it
Seriously, seriously, don’t do that
It won’t help, and this kind of thing can and does kill people
And, in any case, irrational people also have the right to say no

You do not need to agree that the person is correct about what to eat in order to interact with them respectfully. You just have to arrange for it to be possible for them to be in spaces you’re in, and for it to be predictable whether there will be anything for them to eat there.