competing access needs – Real Social Skills

A reader asked:

I communicate best by writing (email, text, etc) and have a hard time with methods of communication that are voice-heavy (Skype calls, phone calls) because I have auditory-processing problems. Several long distance friends do better with auditory communication and worse with writing. But they speak really fast/garbled/quietly, so I can’t understand them sometimes. I end up avoiding them because it’s too frustrating for me to ask them to repeat every sentence, but I don’t want to. Please help?

realsocialskills said:

A couple of options:

Ask them what they think

Is their need to use voice methods of communication on the same level as yours?
Would they be able to use text for you sometimes?

Use typing for repeating:

It might be less frustrating to use Skype than the phone if you make good use of the typing feature
Would it work to use text to ask them to repeat things, and have them repeat it in text rather than voice?
That might make communication easier for both of you

Use something higher quality

If sound quality is making them hard to understand, it might be a problem you can solve
Different video chat services do things differently
It might make sense to try several and see if some are more comprehensible than others
If you can upgrade your internet, it might be worth doing
Getting better headphones might also help
It also might help if they get a better microphone instead of relying on their computer’s internal speakers
If you have access to a landline, sometimes the audio quality is better than on a cell phone

Use an interpreter.

You might be able to use something like Sprint Ip Relay to make TTY calls over the internet.
There’s also a thing called ClearCaptions that’s a captioned phone service that live captions calls. You have to be willing to swear that you’re Deaf, hear of hearing, or otherwise phone disabled. (I think that having auditory processing problems that cause you to avoid using the phone ought to count, but I don’t know if they think that, and I don’t know how much they investigate.)
There are probably other options along these lines that I don’t know about. If anyone knows of good options, please comment or send an ask.

Use emailed videos

Maybe they could email you videos instead of emailing you emails?
Then you could watch them more slowly and repeat stuff
Like video email more than video chat
And then you could maybe respond in the way that’s easiest for you, which might be text

Short version: Keeping in touch with friends can be hard when you have competing access needs for forms of communication over long distances. There are some options. Scroll up for details.

Anyone else want to weigh in? What have you found works for long distance communication between people who find speaking easier and people who find speech difficult to understand?

A reader asked:

I have a question about accessibility and needing things. I have OCD (actually), and one of my issues is contamination. I’ve realized is that it’s much more comfortable for me to use the accessible stalls in bathrooms, because they’re larger so it’s easier not to touch things. But, I’m able-bodied. I don’t want to make people wait when it’s not safe for them. But I also don’t want to do things like not drink water all day so I can avoid restrooms. Is there a way I can navigate this best?

realsocialskills said:

I’m not entirely sure, but this is how it looks to me.

I think that the bottom line is that accessible stalls/bathrooms are for people with disabilities who need accessibility features in order to be able to use a bathroom.

I don’t think psych disability is fundamentally different than mobility impairment in that regard. If you need a bathroom to have certain attributes in order to be able to use it, that’s a legitimate access need. OCD isn’t imaginary, and you can’t just will it out of existence because other people’s disabilities are different from yours.

If you’re doing unsafe things like going without water all day in order to avoid the bathroom, I think you ought to use the bathroom you can actually use.