You’re ok. They’re mean.
Dave Hingsburger, “The Are Word: helping individuals with intellectual disabilities deal with bullying and teasing”
And also he explains it in this blog post: I’m ok, I have it on good authority
Mel Baggs added:
He also taught it at a self-advocacy conference. He had us role-play bullying over and over while yelling “I’m okay – you’re mean!” It really works. It is the first thing anyone ever taught me about bullying that ever, ever worked. Because “ignore it” won’t work. But this does. It teaches you to rethink what’s happening, rather than just “ignore it” and expect it to go away. I use this all the time. It is the only cognitive tool about bullying that has ever made a difference to me.
I would love to go to that training. Just reading it described in the book has helped me a lot. It’s *amazing* how much “I’m ok, you’re mean” helps. It’s gotten me through a lot of horrible things in the three or so months since I’ve learned it.
Most people teach us to be non-judgmental in the face of bullying, when in fact judging bullies is literally the *only* thing that ever helps make it bearable.