Ableists often believe that “choosing to be disabled” is a major social problem. They aggressively believe that most disabilities aren’t real, and that people could stop being disabled if they’d just make better choices. They think most disabled people are fakers who just stay disabled out of laziness.
They may see accessibility and accommodations as “enabling”, and try to get them taken away. Or, they may try to force people into treatment (whether or not safe and effective treatment actually exists.) Or they may just be mean and hostile towards disabled people they encounter. Or any number of other things. This hurts all disabled people badly.
People with disabilities often feel like they have to prove that they are not faking, and that their disability isn’t a choice. This can lead us to worry a lot about whether we’re somehow doing this on purpose. In this state of mind, it’s really easy to find things that feel like evidence that we’re fake.
Disability usually involves tradeoffs. We can’t choose to have all of the same abilities as nondisabled people, but we often can make some choices about which abilities to prioritize. This can superficially look like “choosing to be disabled” if you don’t understand how disability works.
- All medications have side effects
- Managing the condition and the side effects can involve complicated tradeoffs
- There is usually more than one option
- It can often be a choice of what abilities you prioritize most, and which impairments are most tolerable
- You may be able to choose to make any particular impairment go away
- That doesn’t mean you could choose to be unimpaired
- Ableists will think you are faking no matter which choices you make. They are wrong.
- People with mobility impairments often have more than one option, and there can be complex tradeoffs.
- Eg, which is more important to someone?
- Being able to go further without fatigue (in a power chair) or being able to ride in a regular car (with a collapsable wheelchair)?
- Being able to travel a mile on the sidewalk (in a wheelchair), or being able to use all of the subway stops (by walking)?
- Being able to get into inaccessible buildings (by walking), or being able to go out without being in pain (in a wheelchair)?
- Retaining the ability to walk (by spending a lot of time doing physical therapy) or being able to take a full course load in college (by spending that time on studying and losing the ability to walk)?
- No matter which choice you make, ableists who don’t understand disability will see it as “choosing to be disabled”. They are wrong.
There are any number of other examples, for every type of disability. This affects every kind of disability, including physical, sensory, cognitive, psychiatric, chronic illness, and the categories I forgot to mention.
Short version: We all have to make choices about how to manage our disabilities, and there are often complicated tradeoffs. No matter which choices we make, ableists will think we’re making the wrong ones. No matter which choices we make, ableists will think that we are faking.
In the face of this kind of hostility, it is easy to start doubting ourselves and believing that we’re fake and terrible. It helps to remember that the ableists don’t know what they are talking about (even if they are disabled themselves). Making choices about how to manage disability is just part of life. The ableists are not experts in how you should be living you life; they are wrong and they are mean.