public speaking – Real Social Skills

“Can everybody hear me?”

December 11, 2016June 9, 2021 Real Social Skills

Presenters often open by asking “Can everybody hear me?” or “Can everyone hear me without the microphone?”

This isn’t a very effective way to find out if everyone can hear you. It feels like asking, but it isn’t really — because it doesn’t usually give people the opportunity to say no.

If you want to know if everyone can hear you, this way of asking works better:

First, ask if everyone can hear you. This will get the attention of the people who can.
Next, ask everyone “Can the person next to you hear me?”
Wait 7 seconds for people to ask each other
Next, say, “Raise your hand if you or someone near you needs me to talk louder or use the microphone.”
Wait at least 7 seconds before moving on.
(7 seconds feels really long as a presenter. It helps to literally count silently to yourself).

Asking this way solves two problems:

It makes it easier for people to hear the question:

If someone can’t hear you well, they may not hear “Can everybody hear me?”
This can give you the misleading impression that everyone can hear you.
When you ask, “Can everybody hear me?” the people who can, tend to respond “yes” immediately
The people who *can’t* hear you well, often don’t hear the question.
Or they may not understand what you’ve said until you’ve already moved on.
But they probably *can* hear people who are close to them talking to them directly.
Asking “can the person next to you hear me?” makes it more likely that people who can’t hear you will understand the question.

It makes it easier for people to respond to the question:

Saying “Can everybody hear me?” or “Can everyone hear me without the microphone?” *feels* like asking, but often it really isn’t.
The problem is that asking that way doesn’t give people an obvious socially acceptable way to respond.
So in order for people to say “I can’t hear you” or “I need you to use the microphone”, they have to interrupt you.
Which feels like a conflict, and most people don’t want to go into a presentation and immediately have a conflict with the presenter.
It also makes them have to identify themselves as having an inconvenient impairment in front of the whole group.
That’s uncomfortable on a number of levels, and may be actively frightening.
Not everyone is going to be willing or able to interrupt you or take risks.
Even when people are willing, it’s still anxiety provoking in a way that’s likely to make your presentation less comfortable and effective
Giving people a clear way to respond gets you better information, and helps you to build a better rapport with your audience
(And doing it in the specific way I suggest makes it possible for people to let you know they can’t hear you without having to interrupt you, identify themselves to you, or identify themselves to the whole group.)

Short version: If you’re giving a presentation, asking “Can everyone hear me?” probably won’t result in people who can’t hear you telling you so. Scroll up for more detailed information about a more effective approach and why it works better.

Thoughts on asking better panel questions

March 12, 2015June 10, 2021 Real Social Skills

At panel discussions, there is usually a chance for members of the audience to ask questions. If you want to get good answers to your question, it helps to ask the question a certain way. These are not absolute rules, but these general principles often help:

Ask one question:

If the panelists are interesting, you will probably have a pile of questions you want to ask them
It can be tempting to try to ask all the questions together in one long paragraph
That never works, because the panelists don’t actually have time to answer all ten of your complicated questions
And if your question gets overly long and complicated, they quit paying attention and just talk about what they want to talk about
If you want them to answer a question, you have to pick one.

Make sure your question is actually a question:

The point of asking questions is to get the panelists to share their perspective on something you care about
The question you ask should be possible to answer, and you should be interested in what the panelists think of it
Otherwise it’s not really a question
Sometimes people who think they’re asking a question are actually presenting a long monologue about their views on something
That really annoys everyone.
The people in the audience came to hear the panelists, not you. If you monologue instead of asking a question, it will annoy them.
(There’s almost always at least one person who does this.)
(There are some exceptions to this: if you’re sufficiently popular in that group that people are likely to be just as interested in what you say, *and* the panelists hold you in high regard and won’t mind, sometimes it’s ok. That’s rare.)

Questions to panelists should be specific, and easy for the panelists to understand. They should also be at least somewhat open-ended, so that the panelists will be able to give substantive and nuances answers. A few possible scripts for forming good questions (there are many others):

Asking how something works, or how something will happen, eg:

“How will the new version of your app support VoiceOver?“
“How do you decide what to put in the parameters for casting calls?”
“How do you respond when the alarm goes off in the spaceship?“

This can also be a short statement, then a question, eg:

“A lot of comedians tell offensive jokes. When you’re working on a routine, how do you figure when a joke you’re considering is crossing a line?”

Asking them to expand on something interesting they referenced by starting with “Can you say more about…”, eg:

“Can you say more about the time you quit a job at the Very Highly Regarded Charity for ethical reasons?“
“Can you say more about your methods for attracting butterflies without also attracting wasps?”

“What do you think about..?” or “Here’s a statement. What do you think about that?“

This can be good, but it can also be hard to make it specific.
Example of an overly vague question: “What do you think about pie?”
A better question: “What do you think of replacing cakes with pie on ceremonial occasions?“
Another example of a question that would be overly vague in most contexts: “What do you think about progress?”
A question that’s more likely to be answerable: “What do you think about the role of People in Our Field in making the world better?”
another example: “Some people say that if we wait long enough, things will get better on their own. What do you think about that?“
“What do you think about Other Person’s Theory? Does that seem true in your work?”

“Do you think that…”

This can be a good way to ask stuff
The problem is that it’s prone to cause a question to be overly closed
Eg: “Do you think that you will enjoy your next job?” is very unlikely to get a good answer
This might get a good answer: “Do you think that other women are still facing obstacles in your field?“
Offering alternatives can sometimes make the question seem more open, eg:
“Do you think that standardized testing is a good approach to improving special education outcomes, or do you favor a different approach?”

Asking about a rumor:

Make it clear which rumor you’re talking about, then ask about it (Asking “So, are the rumors true?” will not generally get an interesting answer).
“Is there any truth to that?” will often get a better answer than “Is that true?”
Example: “I heard that you’re working on a book of poetry about cats from a laser pointer’s perspective. Is there any truth to that?“

Questions that start simple and also ask for an explanation. There’s sometimes another way to phrase these too:

Adding “why or why not?”
eg: “Did you enjoy being a voice actor on the Simpsons? Why or why not?“
you could also ask that question this way: “What were some things you liked and disliked about being a voice actor on The Simpsons?”
another example: “Do you think that there is life on other planets? Why or why not?“

There are also questions that are challenges. These are harder to pull off. They still should be real questions, that it is actually possible to answer in a substantive way.

For instance “Isn’t it true that you’re an ableist and only care about yourself?” isn’t a good question because there’s no good way to answer it.
Asking that way makes you look like a jerk, even if you’re completely right in your assessment
It’s much more effective to challenge them on something specific, and to ask a question that it is possible to answer
(This can sometimes force them to consider the issue, or to reveal publicly that they’re getting it wrong.)
Example of a better question: “Why doesn’t the board of your Disability Organization About Disability have any openly disabled members?”
Or, you can push harder and say something like: “There are no openly disabled members on your board. What are you doing to address this problem?“
How far it’s useful to push depends a lot on context.
(The rule of only asking one clear question at a time is particularly important with challenges. If you ask a complicated or ambiguous challenge question, it makes it easy for them to evade it.)

If possible, keep your question short:

Most people don’t like to pay attention to long complicated questions
If your question is short and easy to understand quickly, you’re likely to get a better answer
Short questions are easier to understand
They’re also harder to evade
If your question is 1-3 sentences long, you will probably get a better answer than if it is substantially longer.

Think about your question before you start talking:

You will probably have to wait your turn to ask
While you’re waiting to be called on, it’s worth planning what you want to say and how you want to say it
If you wait and don’t figure out what you’re going to say until you start talking, it will probably be more verbose and less clear
If you can, it’s worth planning
(For some people, writing the question down first helps)

None of these things are absolute rules, but all of them are potentially helpful. If you can’t communicate this way, you still have the right to ask questions. These are suggestions, not rules.

Short version: If you’re at a panel discussion and want the panelists to give interesting answers to your question, there are things that make that more likely. Scroll up for some general principles and some scripts.

Use the microphone

December 16, 2014June 10, 2021 Real Social Skills

Microphones are important.

Not everyone can hear and understand lectures without amplification. Microphones and sound systems allow many people to listen to talks they would otherwise be unable to understand.

For some reason, many people who have loud voices try to avoid using the microphones. They will say that their ability to project makes the microphone unnecessary. Often, they refuse to use the microphone, and many members of the audience can’t hear what they are saying.

Do not be that guy. The sound system is there for a reason. The event organizers decided that it was needed in order to make the lecture accessible to others. Don’t unilaterally undo that. Use the microphone, unless you’ve agreed in advance on an alternative way to make the lecture accessible.

Some concrete reasons that people who refuse to use microphones make their talks inaccessible:

No matter how loud your voice is, it only comes from one point in the room. Speakers can distribute it and make it more understandable in other parts of the room
Loop systems project sounds from the microphone into people’s hearing aides, and they only work if you speak into the microphone. No matter how good you are at projecting, people who need the sound to be right by their ear will not be able to understand you if you don’t use the microphone.
Your voice may not be as loud as you think it is; that’s hard to judge from the inside, and it’s very easy to overestimate your skill at projecting.

In particular, do not start your talk without a microphone and ask if everyone can hear you:

People who can’t hear you without the microphone probably can’t hear you and react quickly when you ask a question like that.
Asking if everyone can hear you as a way to check whether you need a microphone is like saying “raise your hand if you don’t understand English”. It’s not going to get you a useful response
It’s also really uncomfortable to contradict a speaker at the beginning of their talk. No one is likely to want to say “actually, no, I can’t hear you and you need to use the microphone even though you obviously don’t want to”.
Similarly, many people with disabilities don’t like drawing attention to their access needs. If you refuse to use a microphone, you’re effectively saying that some people have to choose between their right to access your lecture and their right to privacy. Don’t do that to people.
Your audience probably contains people who need you to use the microphone.
That’s why it’s there.
Use the microphone.

If there is a good reason that using a microphone is a problem for you, talk to the organizers ahead of time. Sometimes there are competing access needs, and that’s not your fault. People who have an access need that makes microphone use complicated or impossible also have the right to speak publicly. (Eg: If you can’t hold a microphone; it hurts to hold it; it makes you unable to speak coherently; etc) It’s just not ok to decide to ignore other people’s access needs on the spur of the moment. It’s important to either work out another solution with the organizers (eg: maybe a wireless clip-on microphone would work?), or else warn people ahead of time so that people won’t come to a lecture that they won’t be able to understand.

If you are an event organizer – be aware that some speakers will probably try to refuse to use the microphone. It’s important to insist that they use it anyway. It helps to have an explicit microphone policy and explain it to speakers, but some people will still probably try to give their talks without microphones. It’s possible, and important, to be firm about this and insist that everyone use the microphone unless they’ve made an alternative arrangement ahead of time.

Short version: Microphones are important even if you have a loud voice and know how to project. If you refuse to use the microphone, it makes the talk inaccessible to some people who want to listen to you. Asking a room full of people if everyone can hear you without the microphone doesn’t solve this problem. (If you have an access need that complicates microphone use, it’s important to either find a solution or warn people that a microphone will not be used. This should not be decided on the spur of the moment.) If you’re running an event, it’s important to be assertive about insisting that speakers use the microphone.